uncut.

i remember us being friends. it was a long longg time ago. i used to have a crush on you. i was 12.

i remember you used to send me home from church choir. i was 14. dad waited for me to come home one night coz he was so damn overprotective of me. that scared the shyt outta both of us.

i remember i had my very first boyfriend and i was very very close to this guy who you thought liked me. you couldn't stop teasing me & i was DAMN irritated at you.

i remember hurting someone who is very very dear to me. Because i knew that i couldn't see him the way he saw me. but it was already too late. he already loved me.

i remember having to give up time in church because of my parents. i remember crying in the car when i saw the church van pass by. i remember feeling jealous and left out. i remember being depressed always.

worse still, i remember the day you critizised me at the back of the church hall. instead of understanding my situation, you said those hurtful words right at my face. i remember crying in the toilet. he and she saw me cry.

you don't know me.
so don't judge me.

i remember he loved me. and because you were so close to him, again you critised when i rejected him. but you didn't know that i loved him too. but just not the way that he wanted me to. and that's why i didn't choose him.

i made that mistake once.
i won't make it again.

i am in love with him.
and now you don't like it because you don't know that i really do.
instead, you blame me for not choosing him.

i really really cannot be bothered with the things that you say anymore.
you live in ignorance, you assume that you are always right & you are so against me.
i've had enough of this.

like they say,
ignorance is bliss.

ps: had a gr8 dinner today. finally had CHINESE COOKING crabs @ ashfield with shing, terence and eugene.. ahhh.. bliss :)