so i have a test tmr and im freaking out but i really don't think i can do anything about it but wait until death comes. i really really hope that i won't fail. econ is getting harder and harder and i don't understand why it's suddenly so numerical although in a way it kinda makes sense coz economists can't draw graphs all their lives without knowing what to calculate and stuff.

yes, i am rambling.

i have a lot of thoughts about stuff lately. i have been thinking a lot for the past few days and i've realized how fast time flies and that we are tragicly gonna grow old, rot and die soon. sometimes, i think about my friends and family in malaysia and i wonder if we'll be friends forever and whether my brothers and i would still be as close as we are now. i often wonder about how my future would be like, if terence and i will still be together, if i'll be able to get a good job and afford gucci bags and BMW cars and most importantly, if i would be happy at all.

the future scares me in a way.

the worst thing is,
i know that i shouldn't worry coz obviously there is no point in worrying about the future. I know that i should trust in God although sometimes it seems so hard and like he's so so far away, although he really is not.